im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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