just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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