I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
40s are totally the cure
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize