After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
