Three words: puerto rican gang bang
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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