Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
