I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
