it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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