We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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