i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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