You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
