I hate your face
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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