what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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