How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
