she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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