bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
