im drinking this country out of the recession.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize