Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
