His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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