yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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