and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
