His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
