Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
