We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
