you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
