One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
