A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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