Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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