but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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