I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's Friday. Sex?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Randomize
