i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
