needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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