i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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