So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
