Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
