Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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