No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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