when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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