hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
