At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just invented taco cereal.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize