i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
