Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
