If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
