I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
