Do vagina's smell?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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