I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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