Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
