did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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