I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
