So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
