okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
