How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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