He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
