Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I enjoy the company of your penis
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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