what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
