and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
