it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
