Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
