All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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