i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize