For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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